The Single Girl's Guide to Online Dating: Episode 3: (Definitely NOT) single TDY guy

11/6/17

(This occurred right before Christmas in 2016)

Fun fact: I like to journal and when I started online dating and started getting some of these gems, I would immediately journal about them after the fact, so a lot of these blog posts include some excerpts from my actual journal entries!


(Definitely NOT) single TDY guy is another POF special. We had messaged back and forth on there, and the quality of messages really stood out (meaning he sent messages that were just implying wanting to bone, being a narcissist, and were free from grammatical errors). He didn't have douchey pictures in his profile, he seemed to be mature despite being a year younger than me (which equates to at least 5 years younger since he's a male!). He asked thought provoking questions, all signs pointed to yes. His profile did indicate that his time on island was short (of course it was), but I proceeded anyways. 

So we decided to meet within an hour or so on the seawall (it  was nighttime), we walked the seawall and got to know each other better before walking to the end near my apartment and sitting to talk some more. He was on a time crunch because he had to go to the airport to pick up coworkers so he couldn’t stay indefinitely that night. The conversation progressed and we parted ways to say goodbye. THIS is what I’ve been missing. I know you're reading this thinking, wow, potential. Don't worry, same shit I was thinking. It wouldn't be my dating life it it didn't turn into a total shitshow at some point!

I didn’t sleep well all night, I was up off and on, uneasy, thinking about this amazing connection, why the universe would do this and then take it away, but how totally blessed I was to meet him too.

Next morning as I’m leaving for the gym, I get a message on POF about how amazing things were and that he could come meet me this morning before he leaves. We agreed to meet after I got back from the gym. He came over, we sat and talked, again he was on a time crunch because he had to get back to the car rental place to meet coworkers and head to the airport to leave. Conversation was great. No red flags.

The connection was definitely there. 

We had exchanged numbers at this point so we were texting back and forth. At one point in the day I asked him “Soooo why are you single” (I will absolutely give guys every damn opportunity to hang themselves. Was this a set up question, maybe sort of, after all, he already left and I had nothing to lose, and I just had to toss the bait and see where it went) to which the bad news bomb was dropped and a lump formed in my throat and I became temporarily speechless. He has a girlfriend at home, she’s great, he just isn’t sure that she’s the one, he created the account to talk to people, he hasn’t cheated on her (although what he did with me is in my eyes), and I’m the only one that he has met through POF. It's probably good that he didn't tell me all of this in person, you may have seen me starring in an episode of Snapped; I remember thinking in my head, "this asshole, I hope his girlfriend finds his account and cuts his 2 Witnesses off." It's a funny thing, lies. Once someone has tossed one out so freely (like they're single when they aren't) it's kind of hard to hear any of the words coming out of their mouth or to believe anything that's been said, but I don't have to care if he's cheated on her or met other people on POF because that's not my burden to carry it's his.  I had to take a minute to digest it. At first my reaction was well fuck this, I was mad, hurt, etc. But after thinking about it and processing it, I was thankful for his honesty, even if I did have to force that bastard to come clean.
We maintained text communication for a little bit following this.
He mentioned something to the effect of now knowing me has really given him something to think about (insinuating that maybe his current relationship isn’t right and maybe there’s something more with us)

I feel badly for his girlfriend. I put myself in her shoes and couldn't fathom finding out that my live in boyfriend had created a dating profile. That would be an ultimate betrayal and definitely the termination of a relationship. I won't begin to understand why someone would do this rather than just ending a relationship if they are unhappy. It's frustrating to encounter someone with this kind of world view, that it's ok to just go along and wreak havoc on people's lives for your own self gratification. But again, I don't have to go to bed at night with those burdens.

For those of you online dating (or perhaps ladies with a live in Air Force boyfriend)...this fella resides in the DC area and does frequent overseas TDY's

As always, like, comment, share, show the blog some love. I appreciate you! 

Up Next: Episode 4: The Sexually Inappropriate Alcoholic

Have you missed one in the series? Here are the previous episodes:
Episode 1: The Background
Episode 2: The 2 Witnesses

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