I'll take you in my backpack

Time to diversify things a little, after all I'm totally equal opportunity when it comes to my dating. So this post is about a different branch of service. Although I won't disclose which one, because while some of the shit that I was put through as a result of this is funny, now , someone having a drinking problem certainly is not. So let's laugh at the mess that I dealt with, and hope that this person is in a better place! So this scenario is slightly more unique than others in that there was a common connection between me and said fellow (one that I discovered, but that he did not know about). You see, I had been talking to a good friend and she mentioned this person who she knew, like hey maybe I should try to set you up with him, well some days passed, maybe a week, and I "matched" online with this guy, I instantly recognized pictures that she had sent me, I did a quick screenshot and sent them to her to confirm. All signs a go, same guy. Hilarious. Perha...

10/28/17 Without further ado, 2 witnesses. Perhaps the most epic dating disaster I've had, the most appreciated story by my friends, and one that constantly gets referenced via the tagline "2 witnesses". I talked to this person (I'll call him Cameron to preserve his real name, for those of you dating in Okinawa, his POF name had "adventure" in it but I also won't disclose the full name there because I'm not a total shady bitch!) for a really long time via POF, then eventually text, and even after that a FaceTime conversation before we eventually went out. All seemed really cool despite the big age difference, and the fact that he clearly states that he is very religious, and I clearly state that I am not. Throughout conversation he did indicate that he would never shove Jesus down my throat etc, phew. As I sit here typing, I wish that were the case. What happened in actuality was way worse! It started off well, maybe I was blinded by the...

10/27/17 This has been a draft for some time. Waiting in the wings for the perfect time. While I won't disclose real names or identifying information for any of the disasters in this little mini series I'm dubbing "A Single Girl's Guide to Online Dating", I will give you the information that I was given, as well as the roller coaster rides I was taken on. Here's what they don't tell you about online dating. You have to become the FBI. The freaking FBI. You might think you're smart, you need to get smarter. Everything is a lie. Perhaps some of you are out there reading this thinking, that cynical bitch doesn't know what she's talking about. I do, I assure you! Believe absolutely NONE of what you read and hear online. NONE. Don't get caught up in the web of lies. People have no shame in lying to your face. Know this, understand this. You should also know that someones crazy is not a reflection of you. You also don't have to go down th...

10/5/17 There's a reason Disney hasn't animated a movie with a stunning princess seeking her Prince Charming via a platform such as Tinder, POF, OkCupid, or any of the other online methods. There's a reason. It's also the reason I like to believe that I'm still single. I like to think that it has less to do with me, and more to do with the options presented to me via these methods. Disney couldn't handle such a story. Quite frankly some days I'm not sure that I can. But as someone who is living and breathing it, I'm here to give it to you real. And with some distance from a lot of these, I can honestly laugh my ass off, because let's be honest, this shit really only happens to me! This blog post will be a bare bones overview of the process, keep your eyes peeled for future posts, drafts I've been saving to "out" individual stories of "dates" I've had that have been complete nightmares. But to keep your attention let...