This is 37...online dating, the good (?), the bad, the ugly, and the shit they don't tell you!

10/5/17

There's a reason Disney hasn't animated a movie with a stunning princess seeking her Prince Charming via a platform such as Tinder, POF, OkCupid, or any of the other online methods. There's a reason. It's also the reason I like to believe that I'm still single. I like to think that it has less to do with me, and more to do with the options presented to me via these methods. Disney couldn't handle such a story. Quite frankly some days I'm not sure that I can. But as someone who is living and breathing it, I'm here to give it to you real. And with some distance from a lot of these, I can honestly laugh my ass off, because let's be honest, this shit really only happens to me! This blog post will be a bare bones overview of the process, keep your eyes peeled for future posts, drafts I've been saving to "out" individual stories of "dates" I've had that have been complete nightmares.
But to keep your attention let's give you the themes:

  • My friends favorite (if you already know this story don't ruin it, because you bitches know it's a gem!) "The two witnesses"
  • Oh by the way I have a girlfriend back in the US, with whom I live (ladies check your men...)
  • Married seeking a third (for the record I didn't engage in convo and certainly didn't go on a date, not knocking just not my cup of tea)
  • Polyamorous (same as above, not my thang)
  • Post op trans (again, same as above)
  • You're married, go home
  • Serial proposer (aka: liar, still married, living in denial)
  • Over photoshopper
  • Raging alcoholic sexually inappropriate drunk dialing drunk texter
  • Catfisher (thankfully I'm like the f*cking FBI and I haven't met anyone, but I've exchanged messages with people who were not who they presented themselves to be online)
So, to you my married, happily committed friends. Hug your significant other, snuggle close...because when I tell you it's a jungle out there, it is, and I don't have a machete!

Want the details? Want to hear about these stories individually? Stay tuned 😉
With that, I realize that I'll probably never get another date again!

Leave a quick comment, which story do you want to hear first? Two witnesses, catfish, married seeking third? Let me know...I'm ready to spill!

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