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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Letter from the Editor...Planet Fitness

9/14/10

Dear Planet Fitness,

I have taken the time to read and obey all of the rules that you have in place to ensure that your facility stays juice-head free. I fully support your decision in doing so. I do however have some suggestions that could "improve" my experience as a loyal and paying customer. Perhaps you would consider some Lady Locker Room Etiquette Rules to be included as well.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Nudie (husky Alaskan) ladies must use towels when waltzing around the locker room
2. Towel drying every nook and cranny should be done in the changing rooms that you have so kindly provided
3. No offensive fouls. If someone is clearly using a locker on one side and you are a nudie gym locker room exhibitionist, please do not plant yourself directly next to this other person
4. Do not start towel drying and put your leg up on the bench (while nudie). No one needs this angle. Furthermore, absolutely do NOT do this after someone has bent down to get something out of a locker (and thus goes to stand up and almost head butts your lady parts)
5. If it sags, jiggles, goes a different direction than it's mate, please, use a towel
6. No inappropriately noises while nudie, towel drying, or walking nudie in the locker room
7. No sitting nudie on the bench. Use your towel (purchase a towel first, bring it to the gym, then start using it!)

Thank you so much for taking these rules into consideration. In addition to being a juice-head, body builder, steroid free gym, I do feel that you left the ladies out and these rules could improve the gym (and locker room) experience of most.

Love,

Laura

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